Wednesday, March 9, 2011

It's Okay to Cry

The past few days I have been feeling overwhelmed.  I generally don't feel like my life is very complicated or stressful.  I try hard to limit the number of obligations I have so that I am not always on the go.  So, when I start getting stressed it is also accompanied by guilt because I think to myself, "I should NOT be stressed, my life is not that crazy."  After two days of outbursts I'm not proud of and being brought to tears far too many times, I called my mom for some support.
As I started listing out the things that were on my mind:  Math final, Speech final, Sociology final, the upcoming, yet unknown move day, having a 2 and 3 year old to train and raise, a home to clean, meals to cook, financial decisions with our car, sewing projects to finish, having just arrived back from 4 days in Washington, Mom to Mom, Ballet, teaching 3 year old Sunday School, Kindermusik, finding space for all of the baby gear and figuring out what we still need, not being able to set up the nursery, and oh, the arrival of a new baby in about 10 weeks...it dawned on me that hey, I do have a quite a bit to juggle.
Maybe it's okay that I am a little overwhelmed. 
The baby will be here in 2 1/2 months, my time with the girls will be different forever, not bad, just different.  I want to actually enjoy the next two months, the ability to skip naps and go do fun things, not having to interrupt our Candyland games at the sound of a crying newborn, being able to sleep (mostly) uninterrupted through the night.  I don't just want to merely survive it. 
So, I am not going to feel guilty about feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and stressed at times.  I am going to say no where I can and give up some things.  And I am going to stay as calm and relaxed and enjoy the next 2 1/2 months (as much as is possible).

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